self improvement

Is Constant Improvement Really Necessary?

by Joi

The following is a guest post by Rachel King and it honestly gives the reader a great deal to think about.  Enjoy!
Is Constant Improvement Really Necessary? A Guest Post by Rachel King

We live in a world where there is intense competition to get ahead and stay there. We’re constantly being asked to improve and innovate if we are to achieve success. And we continue to strive for that exclusive prize (be it money or fame or both) throughout our lives because no amount is enough. But, no matter what self-help gurus advocate, is constant improvement really necessary? Must we really push ourselves further and further even if it means we are not really happy with what we are doing?

A very good friend came to me depressed because she could not find the motivation to complete certain projects she had taken up. She felt guilty because she procrastinated and kept them till the last minute. And she felt upset because she did not want to complete them because she had lost all interest in them. The funny part of this was that she had been so enthusiastic about this project just a few months ago. She is an alpha achiever in anything she does and is a very shrewd and clever person. So why, she asks me, am I not able to sustain my interest in this?

She had actually taken on the project as a way to improve and better herself. But once she got into it, she began to question the constant and continuous process of self improvement. She made a very valid point; in the quest for improvement, we usually leave behind and forget all the simple things in life that are pleasurable – watching television on a cold evening by yourself with a tub of ice cream, spending time with your children without yelling at them or ordering them around, cuddling with your spouse in front of a fire on a random night, taking time out to go visit a neighbor who is sick, visiting the shops even when you’re broke just for the pleasure of it, and so on and so forth.

Because we strive to do something “purposeful” with our lives, we end up stressed and depressed because we are unable to reach the standards we set for ourselves. We feel guilty at not being able to achieve our goal and this has a detrimental effect on our psyche. We take out our frustration on those close to us and ruin relationships in the process.

Improving yourself does not have to mean you must achieve some milestone that others will appreciate; rather, it means you must be satisfied with and happy about the quality of your life; you must be able to live it on your terms rather than by the standards set by others; and you must be content and at peace when you go to bed each night and wake up each morning.

By-line:
This guest post is contributed by Rachel King, who writes on the topic of  Online Christian Universities.

Self Help Resources That’ll Help You Finish Strong

by Joi

Runners Crossing the Finish Line
Buy at AllPosters.com

May 18. Do you realize how far away from January 1 we are?!  So many days have passed since we made our New Year’s Resolutions that I don’t even want to think about it.  If you also had a few resolutions that were easier to make than to keep, you know exactly where I’m coming from.

Ah, but here’s the rub:  There are even more days until December 31!  That’s right – we still have time to steady our legs and finish strong.  This race isn’t over.  In fact we aren’t even in the home stretch yet. So, I want you to sit down and think about your resolutions again.

Ask yourself a few questions:

  • Where did I slip? Did you get overly comfortable and confident?  Back up and give yourself a fresh start!
  • Why have I lost my focus? Identify your distractions and find a way to deal with them.
  • What do I need to do to get back on track? Surround yourself with supportive people and realize that you ARE stronger than the thing you are up against.  Renew your determination now and you’ll have even more reasons to celebrate when December rolls around.
  • How can I keep from slipping again? The bad news is you slipped once.  The good news is you know what to watch out for next time.

Finally, the  best advice I can give you (and myself for that matter!) is this:  Set yourself up for success. The surest way to do that is to give yourself an advantage.  Below you’ll find some amazing resources, or advantages,  that want to help you cross the finish line in whatever race you’re in.

  • Want to lose weight and be healthier?  The Denim Diet by Kami Gray MUST be the next book you buy.  Please click the link to read more about this book.  This book could easily be the advantage you need.
  • Want to stop drinking?  For help with this admirable, yet often difficult goal, please go immediately to How to Stop Drinking and read every single word.  You don’t have to do this alone.  People are very eager to help you.  Support is never more important than it is when you’re looking for a victory over an addiction.  Click the link and you’ll find the support you need.
  • Prevention.com is another excellent (and free!) source of inspiration and motivation when you’re trying to eat healthier and become more physically fit.
  • If time management is something you struggle with, first of all, welcome to the club – have a seat if you can find one!  The video you’ll find HERE will prove to be a great, great advantage for you.  Grab a pen and paper and take notes.  The speaker is Randy Pausch and he’ll rock your clock.

Another great resource for self improvement can be found HERE.  You’ll find a free guide based on Dale Carnegie’s amazing and potentially life-changing book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Remember, it’s not how you start the race, it’s how you finish it that counts!

Make each stride count double,
~ Joi

So, What Exactly is Normal Anyway?

by Joi

Have you ever been guilty of mumbling one of the following statements – either loudly or under your breath?

  • Why can’t my life be normal?
  • Why can’t so and so act normal?!
  • I can’t wait for life to get back to normal…

I’m afraid I’ve been guilty of the “I can’t wait for life to get back to normal…” moan.  In fact, pretty recently!  I don’t think I’ve mentioned it on this particular blog before (I have more than 10, so who knows?!?) – but my spoiled, pampered, much beloved youngest cat, Alexa, recently broke one of her legs in two places.  A normally VERY active cat has had to be confined to total bed rest (we got her a dog kennel/large cage).  Because she’s accustomed to being by my side all the time, I spend a lot of time lying in the floor by her.

Last night, as I sat by her, petting her head and feeling helpless to help my little girl heal any faster – I thought, “I can’t wait for life to be normal again.”  I caught myself almost immediately and wondered, “And just what would that be?”

I mean, just because something in our life is currently stressful doesn’t mean life is all of a sudden abnormal.  Truth be told, isn’t something at least a little to the right or left of our “normal” always taking place?

Granted, some “lefts” or “rights” are more extreme than others.  Some feel like our “normal” has been given a sound beating and left for dead!  This summer, I battled an extreme case of poison oak for two months.  I had it on my face, my arms, legs, stomach, and back. I was covered with pink calamine lotion head to toe.  Misery!  To compound the suffering, I have major allergies and asthma and each responded badly to the poison oak.  Two months. Eight weeks.  Over 50 days.

One night I woke up scratching myself so hard that I started bleeding.  When I went to the bathroom to smear back up with calamine lotion, I sat on the side of the tub and just laughed. I guess sometimes you have to.

Other times, the “right” or “left” feels more like your normal just has a headache.  That’s where I am right now.  I know my beautiful cat is going to be okay and will, in fact, be herself again in a few weeks.  I’m thrilled she wasn’t hurt worse.  She had taken a running jump at an ironing board that, in turn, fell on her.  I’ve thanked God many times that there wasn’t a hot iron on the board.  My normal has a migraine, and when that’s the case - sometimes all we can do is wait.  Time is the aspirin and the only solution to a lot of problems.

Chasing Normal

Money troubles, relationship problems, ill (or broken!) pets, dead-end jobs, lay-offs, etc – life doesn’t think inside the box.  Heck, it’s not even aware that a box exists.

In fact, I guess it’d be safe to say that expecting or looking for normal would make as much sense as a dog chasing a car.  We aren’t going to catch it – and even if we did, we wouldn’t know what to do with it once we had it.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting peace, happiness, and smooth sailing. Wouldn’t we be simpletons if we didn’t want these things in our life?! But, if one gets to the place that they think they can only be happy, pleasant, or in a good mood when every t is crossed and every i is dotted – well, that’s going to be one miserable person.

Do What You Can and Try Not to Worry About the Rest

When you feel like you’re chasing normal, ask yourself a few questions.

  1. Is my situation one I can change?
  2. Is my situation one that I’ll simply have to “ride out”?

If your normal has a headache that you can cure – what are you waiting for?!  Do what you can to make the situation better.

  • If you have relationships in your life that feel strained and you find yourself arguing more than ever, swallow your pride and do your part to make things better.  If you need to forgive… forgive.  Make the first move, you’ll be the winner in the end.
  • If you’re overwhelmed at work or at home, sit down and make a list.  Divide the things you have to get done into “bite sized” chunks.  Take each, one at a time, and put a glorious line through each as it becomes a done instead of a to do.
  • If there’s something troubling you that you have no control over (such as an illness), find a way to cope.  Sometimes, it helps to remind yourself that “It is what it is.” None of us get through life unbruised.  God’s own Son faced more adversity, pain, hatred, betrayal, and poverty than any of us ever will… and look Who He knew!  In fact, there are people, even now, who have it much, much worse than we’ll ever have it.  When we remind ourselves of that fact – it makes our burdens seem smaller.

Above all, remember this:  The next time you’re looking for normal – look around you. It may have a few scrapes, it may have an itchy rash (!!!), it may be short on funds – but it’s all normal.  It’s life… and very often, it IS what we make it.

Make each moment count double,
~ Joi

Truly Amazing Tools to Life

by Joi

Tools For Life !

The following is a sponsored post.  It’s been a while since I’ve done one, so let me remind you what thay means.  In a sponsored post, I’m paid to “review” a book, product, service, or website.  I’m not paid to like it or tell my readers that they’ll like it – simply to tell you what I think about it.  Fortunately for everyone involved, in my years of web publishing, I’ve noticed something – people who are willing to pay people to “see what they think” about their product or service usually have a great deal of confidence in what they’ve created.  If they didn’t, why would they risk it?!  I’ve noticed something else.  The confidence exists for a very good reason.

Tools To Life

People who are truly interested in improving their world are in a constant process of gathering information, books, and products (or tools) that will help them.  They know that the only way to improve their world is to improve themself.  After all, first things first, right?!

I’m excited to be able to tell you about one of the best Self Help Programs I’ve ever seen. Tools to Life is a completely free, online self help coaching system and support network that their publishers refer to as a labor of love.  They have been helping people loose weight, improve their relationships, resolve depression, overcome anxiety and get better careers for over 20 years!  They wanted to bring this success “online” so they could reach even more people ith Inspirational motivation  and community support.

The article archive is amazing.  The titles below are just some of the subjects covered:

  • Why Go Vegetarian? – 12 highly compelling reasons are presented, and I was ready to board the train by number 5!
  • Choices – Your Life is a Choice – Another one of my favorite articles is about the choices we make each day, whether or not we even realize a choice has even been made.
  • Boost Your Metabolism, Lose More Inches - I don’t even have to tell you what makes this article a must-read, do I??  The title pretty much says it all.  If it’s not enough, I have another phrase to catch your eye:  Swimsuit season.  This article will tell you how you can burn calories while you sleep.  I kid you not!  It’s a great read.

The articles I listed above are just a few of the hundreds and hundreds offered on Tools to Life.  I haven’t read them all yet, but I’m working on it.  I’m giving my printer a workout, since each one makes the “worthy of being printed out” grade.

Another section of the site that you’re going to love are the Inspirational Videos.  I watched them and wished like mad there were more.  They’re as addictive as they are motivational and inspirational.

The website provides a wealth of information, inspiration, and motivation.  However, its real charm lies in the way it has built a community of people who want to not only improve their own world, but the worlds of others as well.   That sort of mindset inspires you to move in amongst them, doesn’t it?  Life Coaching Support Groups quickly become like close friends who are there for you. In this case, they just happen to be friends who can help you lose weight, improve your relationships, resolve depression, overcome anxiety and get a better career! With friends like that, who’d have enemies?!

I urge you to go (now’s as good a time as any – nudge, nudge) to Tools to Life and have a look around. Sign up and become part of the community, it’s 100 percent free. Some people honestly pay for this type of life coaching and advice! Visit Tools to Life and start a fun, exciting, and productive new journey – a journey we all like to call Self Improvement.

I love one of their sayings on the website, “Achieve your success in 15 minutes a day.” When you think of it like that, it’s as though all of our goals, hopes and dreams are on the table across the room and all we have to do is walk over there to claim them. What are we waiting for?!
 

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