The Language of Emotional Intelligence by Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. is one of the most fascinating books I’ve read in a while. I should have known it would be, given the fact that the author’s previous book was another must read, Raising Your Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide .
I LOVE books that are more than just books – ones that (upon reading) literally feel like a completed college course! That’s my kind of higher learning: On my own time and less than $20 a course.
If you were like me, you probably never thought of the phrase “Emotional Intelligence.” I remember the first time I ever saw the book, Raising Your Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide. I thought, “Whaaaaat?” Naturally, being an inquisitive (nosy?) person, any what with that many a’s warrants an investigation.
At the risk of dangerously over-simplifying, emotional intelligence deals with our ability, or lack thereof (depending upon our individual level of emotional intelligence) to handle life as it comes at us, as it came at us, or as it will come at us. This is a term that was often, in my opinion, referred to as “emotional maturity.” However, Jeanne Segal ‘s approach lets us know that this is something we can work on. You no longer have to just say, “Well, I’m emotionally immature (or he is, or she is), there’s nothing that can be done about it.”
Jeanne Segal’s exceptional books give the reader the power to say, “I can raise my emotional intelligence and open up a whole new world!”
Relationships can… and will… improve.
Outlooks can… and will… brighten.
When I write book reviews, I normally focus on one book, and one book only. The problem is – I completely and thoroughly want you to read BOTH of these books. You can, of course, gain a wealth of information, inspiration, and motivation from reading just one. But if you read both? Look out!
The Importance of Emotional Intelligence
Never underestimate the importance of emotional intelligence. I’ve read that even major corporations are now bringing in consultants to boost employees’ Emotional Quotient. And why not? The emotional health of an individual affects every single corner of his or her life.
Have you ever known someone who was “book smart” and had a great deal of common sense? When you watch a game show with them, they seem to know every answer and a conversation with them leaves you convinced that they know a little something about everything. BUT, their emotional intelligence leaves a great, great, great deal to be desired. You find yourself asking, “How can anyone who is so smart act so stupid?” After all, smart people don’t yell at other drivers, get hung up on petty little differences, or blow things way out of proportion, right?
Well, they do if their emotional intelligence isn’t as high as it should be.
If you recognize yourself or someone you know in the description, I honestly urge you to click one of the links and buy BOTH of these books off of Amazon. Used copies are available as well as new copies, so you can save money (always a great idea, but especially this time of year!).
The Language of Emotional Intelligence
The Language of Emotional Intelligence includes simple and fun exercises and self-quizzes that give you a really good look inward. I’m all about self knowledge, so I absolutely love these exercises.
The author also includes some beautiful calming exercises that can take you from 250 to 0 in mere minutes.
Whether emotional intelligence is something you feel YOU, personally, need to work on or it is an area you want to help someone you love with, I wholeheartedly recommend these books. If you HAD to just buy one today and save the second one for another day, I’d suggest you buy The Language of Emotional Intelligence first. It’s just a very special book and I’m anxious for as many people to read it as possible. I believe it’d do a world of good. Change is a beautiful buzz word right now and I know this book could bring a lot of change about for a lot of people.
Here’s a self check about stress that can be found in Chapter 3: Why Stress Cripples Communication:
- When I feel agitated, do I know how to quickly calm down?
- Can I easily let go of my anger?
- Can I turn to others at work to help me calm down and feel better?
- When I come home at night, do I walk in the door feeling alert and relaxed?
- Am I seldom distracted or moody?
- Am I able to recognize upsets that others seem to be experiencing?
- Do I easily turn to friends and family members for a calming influence?
- When my energy is low, do I know how to boost it?
A quick look at these descriptions makes it easy to see why so many relationships are shattered – some people are, emotionally, ticking time bombs.
This chapter does a brilliant job of explaining how stress cripples relationships as well as letting the reader know what they can do to turn things around.
Other favorite chapters are..
Chapter 4 – Tool #1, The Elastic: Stress Busting
Chapter 6 – Raising Your Emotional Intelligence
Chapter 7 – Tool #3, The Pulley: Nonverbal Communication
Chapter 8 – Speaking Louder Without Words than with Them
Chapter 9 – Tool #4, The Ladder: Playfulness and Humor
Chapter 11 – Tool #5, The Velvet Hammer: Conflict Resolution
Chapter 12 – Turning Mad into Glad
Click any of the links within the post to read more about these fascinating books.