Knowing When to Speak Up

Although it wasn’t a huge deal - and just a small spot on the radar screen of life, actually - I recently dropped the ball.

I’m thinking of it in terms of back when I played softball. I’m in my normal position on third base, the ball is hit to me….I position myself right underneath its trajectory, open up my Rawlings, listen as the leather and ball meet with a snap, then blooey….I fail to tighten my glove around the ball and the ball rolls out onto the ground.

Only, this time it was in my day to day existence, and involved one of the people I love more than life itself - one of my daughters.

Have you ever seen a situation headed in a certain direction and just felt like no good will come from it? I saw this with one of my girl’s, but didn’t really want to interfere. Of course, if it were something major that would affect their health, safety, or something like that I would have all kinds of interfered! But, in some of the other areas - like dress, friends, music, etc. - you have to pick your battles wisely, at least when they get to the age of 16 and beyond. If you address EVERY single thing a young person does or thinks or says, they’ll begin hearing only clicks and whistles. Besides, some lessons just have to be learned firsthand.

However, with hindsight being what it is (20/20), I now wish that I’d said something.

I’ve been dancing around the subject, out of respect to my daughter - but I’m beginning to fear that in doing so I might be leading one to think that the dropped ball was worse than it was….or that she had done something horribly wrong. So, I’ll go on and say that it was a falling out she had with a friend.

In the weeks leading up to their fight, I’d noticed her attitude shifting. I wish, now, that I’d taken her out for a chocolate shake and sat down and talked things out with her. Maybe I could’ve made her realize how imp0rtant, ultimately, the friendship was. But, again, I didn’t tighten my grip when I should have.

And the ball dropped.

I’m hoping that things will work out, but I’m not too optimistic. Pride…..are you familiar with the word? The principles in this drama certainly are.

At any rate, I wanted to encourage everyone (including myself) to go with their gut feeling. If something feels wrong, it usually is. And, while I certainly don’t know everything, I’m convinced that it’s almost always best to speak up rather than to shut up. You can over-think a situation to death: “Well, I should say something…but will she think I’m butting in? I don’t want her to think I’m treating her like a baby…Maybe I’m wrong….etc.”

It’s very possible that if I had done the chocolate milkshake and talk thing, the fight would have still taken place. Actually, it’s very likely, given the specifics, but I’ll never know.

And that’s the thing that makes my skin an uncomfortable place to live in right now.

Make every moment count double,
~Joi

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