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Today is our daughter Brittany’s birthday and that means I get to roast her, blog style. Britt, it happened to Em and now it’s happening to you!
Brittany is our middle daughter, which I always feared would cause her to be overlooked. Ha freakin’ Ha. That’d be like overlooking the eye of a hurricane, a 400 pound sumo wrestler running toward you, a two-headed giraffe giving birth in your driveway….you get the picture. Brittany and wallflowers don’t even share a universe.
She has her own drum and drummer, and she always has.
- When she was 12 she decided that she no longer wanted to eat anything “that once had a face” so a vegetarian was born.
- She once went through a phase around 14 where she wore black. That’s it. Just black. She wasn’t walking with the witches or anything like that – she just loved the color, plus I (personally) think she liked freaking her dad out. And freak he did. He handled the vegging better than the restrictive wardrobe.
- She will say precisely what’s on her mind and it matters not where we are. When she was 7 or 8 we were in a Wal-Mart and there happened to be a nun in the undergarmets department. I saw her before Britt did and tried with all my might to distract her. Too late. “What in the world,” she demanded, “is a nun doing in the store?!” I whispered, “Shopping.” Then my child breaks out in a fit of laughter and asks, “For underwear?” I’m not sure why the thought of a nun in a store seemed so unusual to her and I’m certainly not sure why it was unusual for her to buy necessities. But the thing that always happens, happened. Her fit of laughter propelled me into one. Thank God I felt it coming and made sure we got away first. Usually, we’re doomed to just stand or sit wherever we are and laugh until we’re crying. Sometimes the rest of the family laughs with us, other times they laugh at us. They have been known to just leave us in our agony.
- She inherited all of my clumsiness and accident proned tendencies. The girl can’t walk through a house without finding something to bump into. We’ve already decided that she isn’t to ever get behind the wheel of a car. Ever. And I’m not backing down.
- She has a mouthful of sweet teeth that Willy Wonka, himself, could never satisfy. And she gets a really goopy far-away look in her eye when she’s encountering chocolate. Kind of otherworldly.
It’s funny, all the things that make her different make her special. Somehow she puts on all the oddities and wears them so beautifully that they become her assets. Her free spiritedness and passion for life make her an absolute joy to be around.
She’s the sort of person that I could be around for hours on end and never look at the clock once. She makes each one of my days funner just by being in it. Even though she makes my sides ache!
I love you, Brittany Lauren, and hope your birthday is as fun as you make my everyday.
Make each moment count double,