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You want answers?
I want the truth!
You can’t handle the truth!
– A Few Good Men
Great movie. Greater line.
I was researching a subject for TMFC this morning and came across a pretty enlightening article on Ask Men.com. Here’s a link to the article, but be warned that Ask Men is kind of like a male Cosmo. Your grandfather’s articles don’t reside here. I think he’d get a kick out of the site though. Anyway, check it out: Top 10 Things That Make Men Happy
While reading the article, one of the “10 things” really stood out. It was under #7, Honesty and Truth. ….
Receiving a pat on the back when we do things right is nice, but it’s even nicer to be told when we’re wrong….
True, that. So true, that.
Absolutely anyone can tell us what we want to hear. Heck, we’re pretty good at that ourselves. But the ideal person to have in your corner is the one who will tell you the good & the bad. Not just the bad, to be sure, but not just the good either.
What good would it do Winky Wright to have a yes man in his corner between rounds? What if Felix Trinidad had been pounding him inside, yet everytime WW went to his corner, he heard “Yeah, baby, Yeah!!! Looking good, looking good.” He’d go back out there, get pounded again…and again….and again.
Encouragement’s a glorious thing, but encouragement can also get you TKO-ed.
I love to see the boxers go to their corners and the trainers ask them, “What are you do-ing?! *%^%(!! Get your hands up!!”, and then tell them what they should be doing instead of what they are doing. That’s what they’re there for – to help.
Relationships are that way, too, hopefully without the *%^%(!!. Whether it’s a spouse, significant other, daughter, son, mother, father, or friend – we should be able to accept, and even welcome the “What are you do-ings?!” just as graciously as the “Yeah, baby, yeah’s!!” Maybe even more so, because it takes SO much nerve and even more love to tell someone close to us something they don’t want to hear.
It’s like casting yourself as the evil witch in The Wizard of Oz. As a mother of three I’ve had to stradle the broom more than once. Not fun. Not pretty.
However, the street known as Honesty isn’t a one way road. It’s travelled in two directions. If you want honest, reliable people around you, you have to accept that. If you want dishonest, unreliable people around you, you’ll find them on a different road. But you won’t like where it leads.
I remember one of the first websites I made. I thought I had waxed creatively brilliant, and fully expected the world to turn on it’s axis and acknowledge me. The Husband looked at it, picked up the broom and realigned my axis. OMG, he found so many problems…this that this that. He was Simon Cowell to my William Hung.
After a few minutes of scowling (hours are made up of minutes, after all), I went to the website and asked myself – “Why are you so ticked, really? Is it because he didn’t say enough good things, is it because you’re disappointed, is it because your knight on a white horse turned INTO the fire breathing dragon or…..is is all of these things PLUS the fact that he was right?
I took an honest look at the things he had pointed out. He was right. In fact, he was so right, that when I look back – I would have been mortified if I had put the page on the web as it was.
What if he had said, “Yeah, baby, yeah!!”? What if he had seen the look of pride on my face and just left it there?
That’s not the sort of person I’d want in my corner. I want one who inspires me to win, encourages me to fight, and insists that I get what I deserve.
Me and Winky? We swing like that.
Make each moment (and punch!) count double,