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These have kicking around for a few years, but they still make pretty good verbal amunition. Store up so you can unload on the next wise guy who wants to get into a battle of wits! I used #3 on my husband once in relation to my check balancing system. It stunned him for a few minutes while I made my getaway.
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
2. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
3. I’d explain it to you, but your head would explode.
4. Accept the fact that some days your the pigeon and some days you’re the statue.
5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there the first time you need him, chances are you won’t be needing him again.
6. My reality check bounced.
7. I don’t suffer from stress. I’m a carrier.
8. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
9. Everybody is somebody elses weirdo.
10. Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
Make each moment count double!