May 2006

A favorite quote by a favorite poet. I”ve had a lifelong love of Emily Dickinson’s poetry. There is something amazingly serene and calming about her words. They never fail to take me to a far away place. For some reason or another, when I’m reading anything penned by her (which is at least 5 nights a week), my body may be lying across our bed, but my psyche is sitting in a beautiful, quiet cottage in the 1800’s. No televisions, no computers, no music, no hustling and bustling. Just poetry, a cup of tea, and birds singing outside my window.

It’s a nice place to visit, but I would want to live there. (At least for a while!)

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

At the top of one of my other self help blogs, Self Help Daily, I have a great quote: “Take the time to come home to yourself every day.” ~Robin Casarjean

I thought it pretty much summed up what I wanted SHD to be about - finding oneself in a world of others and a sea of distractions.

We hear the phrase “Finding yourself” in one form or another several times a week. Often we’ll roll our eyes at the words, and even scoff at the meaning behind the words. But maybe we should neither roll nor scoff. Because if we really think about it - isn’t knowing who we are the key to happiness.

How can we know what we should be doing with our lives if we aren’t sure where our talents lie?

How can we put ourselves on the road to happiness if we aren’t sure what it would take to make us happy?

How do we know what we need to improve upon if we aren’t sure where our weaknesses lie?

We don’t want to one day find ourselves sitting in a recliner of regret. The sooner we discover who we are, what we need, and how we are best equipped to make it all happen - the sooner we’ll make the world come around to our way of thinking.

Unfortunately, we spend far too much time trying to wrap our minds around other people’s needs, wants, idiosyncrancies, thoughts, manners, habits, etc. We’d be much better served if we tried to wrap our mind around our own! After all, knowing THEM won’t take us nearly as far as knowing OURSELVES will.

Keep in mind, though, that truly finding yourself doesn’t arrive completely in an “AHA!” moment. It’s a journey. A discovery. Somewhere along the way, as your strengths/weaknesses and wants/needs come into focus, you may discover that you’re in the wrong line of work. You may discover that your thinking has changed politically. You might just discover that you’re a far more complex and way cooler person than you ever realized.

I’m betting on it!

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” -Napoleon Hill

“Dreaming about a thing in order to do it properly is right; but dreaming about it when we should be doing it is wrong.” -Oswald Chambers

“The only way to start is to start.” -Unknown

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” -Confucius

“The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” -William Faulkner

Make each step count double,
~Joi

No getting around it, there’s only 24 hours in any given day. I’ve yet to find a way to make a day cough up any more. I’ve tried! Face it, we have to work with what we have. But, maybe…just maybe….we actually have more than we realize.

Let’s take a closer look at our typical day by breaking it down:

• At least 8 of the 24 are spent by most people working, whether it’s out of the home, or in the home - work is work, and it accounts for a big chunk of our day. Now subtract 8 more hours for sleep. 8 + 8=16 even in my challenged math world. Over half of our day’s claimed already!
• If you happen to be the primary cook, housecleaner, gardener, and laundry manager - you can scratch off an extra 2 hours.
• If you’re a good girl or boy, you also get some sort of physical activity each day - so factor in another hour.
• 19 of the 24 have been claimed, leaving us with 5. We’ll chop off one of those 5 for the surprises that life tends to hurl our way. And for the times we need more time on the court - because we WILL not quit until we find our serve, more time in the kitchen - because supper includes homemade rolls, or more time at work - because something flopped that was intended to fly.

And then there were 4. FOUR magical, unclaimed, FREE hours for us to use as we choose.

Spent wisely, these 4 hours could greatly add to our quality of life. If we read the right sort of things, pursue the right sort of knowledge, and try to better ourselves inside of the 240 minutes - we could shape our minds and our lives into the form we desire the most.

Spent unwisely, these 4 hours will be our damnation. Track your own “Final Four.” Do you spend them or do they spend you?

Four hours a day could be powerful stuff!

Could be.

“The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.” -Tom Bodett

I sound like a broken record sometimes. This, I know. But it is of the utmost importance for us to stress education. Not only in our children - in ourselves as well. Our world is so fast-paced and tech-raced these days that little —alarmingly little— time is spent trying to stretch our minds.

I don’t have to tell you that this will lead to nothing good!

Check out the following findings of a recent Geography Survey:

• Thirty-three percent of respondents couldn’t pinpoint Louisiana on a map.
• Fewer than three in 10 think it important to know the locations of countries in the news and just 14 percent believe speaking another language is a necessary skill.
• Two-thirds didn’t know that the earthquake that killed 70,000 people in October 2005 occurred in Pakistan.
• Six in 10 could not find Iraq on a map of the Middle East.
• Forty-seven percent could not find the Indian subcontinent on a map of Asia.
• Seventy-five percent were unable to locate Israel on a map of the Middle East.
• Nearly three-quarters incorrectly named English as the most widely spoken native language.
• Six in 10 did not know the border between North and South Korea is the most heavily fortified in the world.
• Thirty percent thought the most heavily fortified border was between the United States and Mexico.

Check out a really good CNN article dealing with our collective lack of geography skills.

I’m off to borrow my daughter’s Geography book. I didn’t get all of the ones above correct and I’m not feeling too good about that!

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

Most people have at least one mild phobic anxiety (like fear of small places, fear of water, fear of cats, fear of snakes, etc.). In fact, most of us have several. For example, I’d rather be a cannibal’s shish kebob or a shark’s bait than to ever be trapped at an elevated height, in a MRI torture chamber, with a snake. Some people are afraid of the dark - no problem for me. Some are intimidated by large crowds - I think they’re cool Some are scared of cats - I have 6. Some run from the room screaming at the sight of a mouse - I’d like to be their friend. But, tiny, closed in little places, demons without limbs, and heights terrify me.

It’s amazing to me to think that there are people out there who associate with snakes, or who fly in planes, or who can have an MRI without yelling, “Call the whole thing off! Get me outta here.” Yes, yes, I did. (The technician talked me off of my emotional ledge and we went on with the procedure.)

Most of us just avoid the things we hate the most and our lives are none the worse. But there are people who’s fear interferes with their day to day lives. I read a story once of a woman who was afraid of spiders - her fear became so great that she darn near stopped leaving her apartment. I’ve also heard of people who are so afraid of storms, they hide in their basement the minute they see clouds.

People who have anxieties to this extent desperately need to talk to someone. There’s help available, right there for the asking. These people are at a much higher risk for heart disease than are other people, with fewer anxieties.

Several studies have suggested that anxiety and anger are associated with an elevated risk of sudden cardiac death. This is when death occurs within one hour of the onset of symptoms; it’s usually associated with a lethal heart rhythm disturbance.

If there is anything in your life that, on a regular basis, causes you distress or anxiety - look into treatment. See your family doctor - he or she will be able to point you in the right direction.

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

Not only does regular physical activity promote better physical health and emotional well-being, it protects our minds against cognitive decline. (Keeps us sharper. Keeps us sharper longer.)

The reason is possibly linked to the natrual chemicals that exercise releases. These chemicals are the very ones that protect and feed our brain cells.

Even modest exercise helps to keep the brain alert. Walking just 20 minutes three times a week can diminish your chances of getting dementia, including alzheimer’s. Below are a few other ways to pack more activity into your days:

• Take up tennis. If you’re short on time, tennis is the perfect exercise. I’m pretty much owned by time shortage, which is just one of the reasons I love tennis. You can enjoy this incredibly fun sport for even just 30 minutes and have gotten a workout better than an hour of other activities. Another plus, it can be a year-yound activity if you have a club membership.
• Take up golf. But, if you can at all - walk the course. Even if you motor around in a golf cart, you’re still getting activity, and that’s always a good thing.
• Work in your yard. Weed the flower bed, pick up sticks, trim the hedges, mow, wash windows, clean lawn furniture….before you know it, you’ve gotten a first-class workout!
• Wash your car. Oh, go ahead, wax it too.
• Turn on 80s rock, Lenny Kravitz, Montgomery Gentry, Bo Bice, Gwen Stefani, or Janet Jackson and move that body like it hasn’t moved in years. Feel free, of course, to substitute your faves for mine, but Janet’s tough to beat. I’d challenge anyone to stand still as she belts out “Black Cat.”

Start standing more than you sit and walking more than you stand. Park further away from the store doors, and take the long route to what you’re after. Put the laundry up one at a time…. Get creative and get moving. Your heart and your mind will both love you for it.

Of course, on top of all that, you’ll have more good butt days and less “OMgraciousG, how’d THAT get THERE?!?!” days. And, face it, it’s all about the Badonkadonk. Aw, son.

Make each move count double,
~Joi

Buy the Art Print Above (”Sun Dance”) at AllPosters.com

This morning, my daughter and I grabbed some coffee and a few croissants at our favorite Burger King drive thru. My favorite worker greeted us at the window with a smile. She’s an adorable young girl with braces, a long pony tail, and an attitute that suggests she’s as happy as anyone has a right to be. Even while at work. Her name’s Sarah and, in addition to her contagious smile, she’s very helpful and uncommonly fast. Never known her to be anything but. She, alone, causes customers to feel good about their visit, and represents the entire BK restaurant as a clean, warm and friendly place. We always paint a picture in our minds of a place we visit, do we not? - And a lot of the colors we use in our painting have to do with the workers.

Sarah’s a beautiful shade!

When we were pulling away, I thought of something I’m going to start doing this week. I’m going to buy some snazzy little postcards and keep them on hand for people like Sarah. When someone stands out in my mind as being a special person, I’m going to start doing something special for them. The first postcard will go to the manager of that restaurant telling her what a great little worker Sarah is. It’s my fervent hope that it’ll cause this young lady to get a raise, or at the very least earn her a little extra respect.

I think that if we all made a habit of recognizing people who deserve it, it’ll cause a wonderful chain reaction. The main thing is, they’ll feel the goodwill - because they earned it. That’s the main thing - putting a smile on their faces. Secondly, there’ll be ripples felt by the people around them, causing them to step their game up.

Lastly, I’m a firm believer in reaping and sowing. I’ve seen it too many times not to know that what you put out there comes back to you. So if you put gratitude and good will out there, guess what comes back to you?

Everyone’s a winner! The Sarahs of the world, me and YOU!

Make each gratitude count!
~Joi