February 2006

I’ll go ahead and admit it up front. I can be something of a drama queen. Even when I was a little girl…of course, then I was a drama princess.

I’ve made it to full-fledged Erica Kane status now! If I don’t keep an eye on her (My inner Erica), if I look the other way for just a minute, she comes sashaying on the scene. I thought I’d just give a little confessional/testimonial before going any further….because I looked away for that dangerous minute and I raised Kane. So, if today’s post is a little dramatic, I apologize. Dramatically.

Has there ever been a time in your life when you stopped and wondered, “What happened? This looks like my life, it sounds like my life, but it doesn’t feel like my life.” It’s as though all the lights are on but nobody’s home. A lot of people have this feeling, but they don’t know how to describe it, so they don’t. They aren’t sure anyone will understand, so they don’t chance saying anything about it. Better to keep your mouth shut than to risk someone thinking you and your rocker have separated, right? Wrong.

The fact is, if you opened up to someone else, odds are a light would come on for them and they’d recognize a feeling they hadn’t given a voice to as well. Just about all of us have been there at one time or another - when our life is going on around us…we’re playing our role….but something doesn’t feel quite right. Basically, something has taken our life away from us, at least to a degree, and left us with one we don’t fully recognize.

What are some of these “life robbers”?

• Addictions. Not just to the big no no’s like alcohol, tobacco, pornography. Addictions to work, or even certain recreations, can rob you of life as you once knew it.
• Pressure. Sometimes it’s pressure that’s put on us by other people, but often (Speaking from experience!) it’s pressure we put on ourselves. “I HAVE to get this done by such-and-such-date..” “I could have done that much better…” and so on. If you couldn’t tell, this is the thief I recently had to apprehend. The good thing is once you can identify the thief, they’re incredibly easy to catch!
• Stress. This one probably trips up more people than any other. A common mistake people make is sitting back and thinking that everything will work out. Everything won’t. In fact, what everything will do is go and get worse. Much worse.

  Amazing, if someone around us was having problems with stress, we’d insist they find the solution….heck, we’d be so concerned about them, we’d do everything we could to help them. We’d stay up nights researching coping techniques, we’d buy them lava lamps and relaxation tapes, etc…. But if it’s us? “Oh, it’ll go away.” Maybe if we realized that if we’re stressed it affects those around us negatively…maybe then we’d do something about it sooner.

• Grief. When we’re grieving for someone or something, the light is understandably dimmed for a while. That’s normal and expected, even healthy because we’re healing. However, if the light refuses to come back on, it’s time for help. That isn’t healthy and it isn’t living.

Basicaly, anything that takes the steering wheel of your life out of your hands has assumed control of your life. You’re on cruise control and the reason it no longer seems like your life is becase it no longer is.

If you ever feel like your life isn’t really your life anymore, please take it back! If you aren’t really sure how, find someone who can help you. I want you to know that I’d do all I could - my email is to the right, and I check it throughout the day, so you can be assured of a prompt response….and of privacy, of course!

As the daytime drama says, we only have one life to live, we certainly have to make sure that we’re the one living it - and to the fullest!

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

According to a new study in Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise, people with depression benefit GREATLY from exercise.

Just one 30 minute workout (one!) had a dramatic impact on the way they felt. The participants reported improved feelings of well-being and happiness.

Of course, the feel good benefits arent’ limited only to those battling depression - we all get that special positive vibe that exercising brings. It’s so profound that it’s a wonder we don’t exercise every single day. Imagine the great shape our psyche’s would be in, then. Along with our bodies!

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

Sometimes you just have to laugh!

“Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It’s kinda like being the guy on a date.” -Caroline Rhea

“When you’re in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.” - Portnoy, “Bloom County”

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” - Groucho Marx

“When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.”

“My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.” - Jimmy Durante (One word, Michael, just one word….)

“The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.”

“After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” She replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”

The happy couple at the top of the post? Click the pic to get to the larger version. Then right click them as set them as your background….they make an adorable wallpaper.

Make each moment with those you love count double,
~Joi

How use doth breed a habit in a man. - William Shakespeare

You know what they say, “First we make our habits, and then our habits make us.”

Make each habit worthwhile!
~Joi

I read an article in a magazine recently that has lit a fire under me.

It was about people who have dug into their ancestor’s past and uncovered fascinating “dirt.” Okay, it’s not really “dirt” - the writer in me just couldn’t pass up the terminology….dirt, dug, uncovered.

Anyway, the people the author spoke to had found some really fascinating people in their family tree. One lady profiled had discovered that she was a relative of John Proctor (the first man to be hung as a witch.) This young lady actually enjoyed the investigative aspect of exploring the past so much that she left her job as a teacher and now works for the federal government, investigating the backgrounds of potential employees.

Another woman discovered that she had a heroic great-great-great-great grandfather. He was a preacher who, during the 1800’s, was one of the rare men of character who allowed black and white people in his congregation together. She uncovered documents stating how he was known for baptizing and marrying many slaves. Apparently her 18 year old son has always wanted to be a preacher, and she now has a better understanding of his vision. As she puts it, it’s in their genes.

I’m not sure if I’ll find any ministers in my lineage (or in that of my husband’s) and I really hope there aren’t any witches lurking around. But I’m overcome with a great and intense desire to know just who is back there.

For anyone else who might be as intrigued as I am, the article included these steps to get started with researching genealogy:

1. Make a chart. You know, the typical type you’ve seen a billion times. Include you, your parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents. Gather up birth, marriage and death certificates as well as other documents that show spellings of names, locations, and dates.

2. Ask family members for all the information they have about your family.

3. Learn the basics. Before you begin digging at the library or online, learn “genealogical methodology.” There are lots of “How To” books, or you can buy the National Genealogical Society’s beginner’s kit at www.ngsgenealogy.org

Learning about our ancestors is more than just educational fun. I think that in learning more about them, we learn more about ourselves. And we all know how large a role self-knowledge plays in mental fitness.

Have an exciting week! I have a tree to climb.

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

We all get so caught up in the seriousness of life that often we forget there’s a lot of fun to be had as well. Not balancing the two out can make you anything from cranky to crazy. Schools know the wisdom of this fact, which is why there’s something called recess. And just as Brandon and Ashlee (Dick and Jane’s kids) need a break from reading, writing, and arithmetic - you and I need a break from to do lists, deadlines, and bills.

Below is a list of things that you can do to remind yourself that there’s more to life than work. Because, quite frankly a life that consists of just work isn’t really much of a life….it’s a sentence.

1. Go see a movie! Eat buttery I-know-this-isn’t-healthy popcorn and slurp the biggest Coke they have.

2. Bundle up and take a walk around the park. It’s invigorating and good for you. You’ll actually burn more calories in the cool weather because the ole body has to work harder to warm itself up. (You can burn off that popcorn!)

3. Rent a scary movie and watch it with the lights off. Scream, What Lies Beneath, Sixth Sense, Silence of the Lambs…. I’ll bet Scream will have you running to switch the lights on! And Silence and Sixth will have you sleeping with them on.

4. Pick out a great new book and make reading it a priority. A few I strongly recommend are: Dean Koontz: “Odd Thomas,” “Watchers,” “Midnight,” “Sole Survivor” Nicholas Sparks: “The Rescue,” “The Guardian” Gregory Maguire: “Wicked - The Live and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West” (Two words: Witch sex). Also, Agatha Christie is a great read. I actually collect Christie books and am reading my way through them all. Brilliant author.

5. Color your hair a new shade. Okay, maybe not if you’re starting a new job the next day, but otherwise, have fun and go for it! There are temporary shades that wash out with just 8 shampoos, all of which can be done back to back if the result is something you can’t live with. Just mix life up a little bit and make yourself smile.

6. Put music on and dance. Heck, go all out! Color your hair a crazy sexy color, read a little Koontz while you wait to rinse, dance to a great song while your hair dries, then go see a movie.

Every minute of that day you’ll know you’re alive and you’ll go to bed with a smile on your face and buttered popcorn on your breath.

Make each moment smile,
~Joi

Okay, I’m psyched. I love the Olympics and I’m ready for the fun to begin!

Sure, I’m a sports fan - but it really isn’t the athleticism that makes the Olympics so appealing to me. It’s the human drama and passion. I mean, these athletes have dedicated their life to a dream, who couldn’t get caught up in watching these dreams come true?! You can see it on their faces in the opening ceremonies - they’ve arrived, on the threshold of everything they’ve fought for, sacrificed for, and lived for.

I also love the biological profiles of the athletes - learning about their lives and personalities. Great stuff.

I’m as patriotic as the next person, but to me it’s even more than just cheering on the athletes from your own country, it’s about cheering onand for everyone. Below are a few links - just in case you’re getting as anxious as I am!

Top 10 Olympic Storylines

The Official Website of the Olympic Moment

Torino 2006 Official Site

Have a great weekend and enjoy the games!

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

I’m still trying to make friends with the little fox known as Firefox - trying to make the blog look the same in Firefox as it does in ie. Most of my visitors to this blog have ie, but if even 1 has the fox, I don’t want them to have an eyesore before them!

We have both browsers on our computers - and the theme for this particular blog is giving me fits. There are certain elements that the fox doesn’t “recognize” or “acknowledge” that ie does. For example, on my cooking blog, if I use fractions or the degree symbol, ie shows them and the fox ignores them.

Same with scrollbars….on our entertainment websites, such as Jessica Unveiled, in ie you can see that the scrollbar is colorized - in Firefox you see the regular scrollbar.

On the other paw, Firefox is so much faster!

If these two browsers ever got together, the outcome would be something amazing!

Anyway, I’m working on a new banner at the top and hopefully it won’t take long before everyone sees basically the same thing.

~Joi

I was consulting my Yankee Home Hints book by Earl Proulx yesterday. I was actually reading up on possums, seeing if there’s anything we can do to convince these guys that our carport isn’t their Holiday Inn). I got sidetracked reading a few of his personal entries. One in particular was pretty neat. It made me think and smile, and I thought it might do the same for you.

“The Day I Learned From the Pros” by Earl Proulx
When I first began painting for my father, he had me start with the part that experienced painters don’t like to work on: the shutters. I was trying to learn, so I asked the head painter, “How many pairs of shutters does a good painter do in a day?” He replied, “Fourteen pair.” So I started in, working like crazy to get that many done.

When my father came by the job site, he asked me how many pairs I’d completed that day. I told him fourteen, and he looked surprised. “You did well,” he said. “I don’t know a painter who can do more than eleven pairs in a day.”

That day I learned two things from the professionals. First, having an ambitious goal can help you get through a boring job. And second, don’t believe everything people tell you!”

Love that!

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

“You will never be happier than you expect. To change your happiness, change your expectation.” - Bette Davis