November 2005

My aunt and uncle forwarded these to me. I love to laugh, and I love getting e-mail - so when I get e-mail that makes me laugh, my day’s complete! I got a kick out of these and thought you might as well.

These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services! :

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

Don’t let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: “Break Forth Into Joy.”

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.”

I choked on my tea when I read the Weight Watcher’s one!

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.” - Claude M. Bristol

I have a positively wonderful website I’d love for you to check out: bmindful: helping you bpositive! Is that a great name and tag or what?

If you’ve read this blog, or our website (The Mental Fitness Center) for very long, you know how I feel about affirmations. Simply put, they can make all the difference. I use them everyday of my life - I’ll put them on index cards and position them around our home office, I put them on the refrigerator, I write them on graphic art to use as wallpapers on our computers, but most importantly, I say them over and over to myself.

Whether it’s simply, “I can do this” or, “I’m a great_________”, I’m totally believe in the power of positive thinking.

These positive affirmations make all the difference in the world. You see, I believe that we all have thoughts constantly playing in the background of our minds. These thoughts can cause us to feel overwhelmed, depressed, fearful or jealous. However, if we simply turn the station, we can then feel positive, confident, bold, and maybe even cocky!

It’s impossible to entertain a negative thought if you’re honed in on a positive one, which is why it’s even more important to fill your mind with plenty of positive thoughts, or affirmations. bmindful is a database, of sorts, for positivity.

I hope you’ll go check it out and become an active participant. I already grabbed a login name and password and created a few of my own affirmations. While there, I also wrote down a few new ones that I really liked. My favorite one was Wealth is pouring into my life. - what an awesome MINDSET!

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

P.S. The phrase I always sign my name with on this blog is my favorite affirmation of all time. It sums up how I approach life….. and, I guess, explains why I’m not still for very long.

P.S.S. After visiting bmindful.com, you might want to read “The Power of Affirmations”

Have a great weekend!

‘It is literally true, as the thankless say, that they have nothing to be thankful for. He who sits by the fire, thankless for the fire, is just as if he had no fire. Nothing is possessed save in appreciation, of which thankfulness is the indispensable ingredient. But a thankful heart hath a continual feast.’ ~W.J. Cameron

We’d love to wish you and your loved ones a beautiful, relaxing and safe Thanksgiving Day. Enjoy the time together and affect someone’s life for the better!

Make each moment count double, they’re what memories are made of!
~Joi, Michael, Emily, Brittany, and Stephany

“A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction.” – Rita Mae Brown

You could march an army through the gap that separates action from reaction. It’s all about control. If you’re reacting, someone else is in control - pulling your strings and dictating what you say and do.

But if you’re acting, you’re in control - you’ve taken the strings off and are directing your own show.

Think of it this way:

You either have action or you have reaction and all that it brings with it, as in: reproach, regret, repentance, remorse, repine, and resentment.

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

Commercials during this time of year really crack me up. Everybody’s civil and happy sitting around the tables on tv, the kitchens are spotless, the ladies are cooking with their hair just so, make-up stenciled on, jewelry and clothes perfect and pressed. Right!

We all know what the holidays bring - extra work, extra money, disorganization, disrupted schedules and routines, and very often people we just don’t like all that well! It can mean arguing with your significant other about where you’ll spend this meal, or that meal…..how much time you were here, how much time to spend there, etc.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are beautiful holidays that cause an excitement and happiness that you can feel all around you, but there is also stress involved. Unless of course you really aren’t doing much of the work or entertaining - then this post isn’t something you’d need, you should be calm enough already.

I’ve found that the number one way to cope with all the extra stress and work is to keep your sense of humor. Sometimes you just have to laugh. I got that approach from my dad, and it’s a good one. The holidays are not any time to get irritable or cop a mood. When you do that, you ruin not only your holidays, but those of everyone around you. Decidedly uncool and immature.

When the great-uncle that drives everyone crazy shows up, endure it with humor. Think of all the great material he’s providing you with for future stories! Picture him in a sitcom on tv….wouldn’t you laugh at him then rather than scowl?

If you’re in the unspeakable situation of balancing your family and his/her family, hang in there - you have my sympathy, but it’s alongside my jealousy. I’d give all that I own (materially) to have back the people we once performed the balancing act for. We actually were lucky - my mom loved my mother in law to pieces so she always ushered us out the door to go see her. (I miss that mother in law very much. She was a character and a half!)

If you can AT ALL keep from it, don’t split yourselves up - go together as a couple. If someone has to have a meal earlier than ususal, or even a day before or after -so what? Be flexible, be forgiving, be open minded….and Good grief, don’t forget that sense of humor!

Something else that helps to destress is to just hang out with your pet(s) for a while. They are so therapeutic and so relaxing. I find that no matter what’s going on around me, if I spend time with my cats, I feel instantly better.

Finally, if you feel yourself coming unwound and there isn’t a pet in sight and laughter is out of the question, go off somewhere alone for about 10 minutes. Talk to yourself, do sit-ups, strike a few yoga poses, or just sit and stare at the ceiling….just grab a tiny little vacation and gather yourself back together. Then laugh.

Have a perfectly safe and happy Thanksgiving. Keep an eye on the holiday drivers, some drive almost as bad as me!

Make each holiday moment count double,
~Joi

The greatest husband in the world and I were out last night making a few of our favorite rounds. One of the stops, of course, included our favorite Coffee House for my daily delight, Chai Tea. Another stop was a local Office Supply store. There are three in our area and we generally bounce from one to the other. The bouncing may have just come to a stand still.

One of the three stores has two strikes against it, high prices and invisible sales people. Two strikes too many.

Another one has great prices but the staff, for the most part, are about as helpful as an umbrella in a hurricane.

The third one, and the one without any strikes, was the one we hit up last night, pre-Chai tea.

We were looking for something that was pretty costly - but it’s one of those things that life just isn’t the same without, so there we were ready to shell out what they wanted. Fortunately, a salesperson with more on the ball than most came along. The fact that she even came along at all impressed me. Smiling, she asked if she could help us with anything. We told her what we were planning to buy, then she told us (on the low…the very low) that this item would be going on sale later this week. She even knew, and whispered, what the sales price would be. Well. Worth. The. Wait. She showed us a circular that will be coming out featuring this product, as well as a few other great deals!

I was totally impressed that the young lady came over and sought out customers rather than waiting for them to come to her. I was further impressed (and thankful) that she helped us out by sharing her knowledge. I was, however, most blown away by the fact that she’d even bothered to look at the circular already and had, apparently, studied it. Sadly, most people simply don’t take that kind of pride in their work - especially if their work doesn’t involve commissions. This girl, however, takes her job seriously and, in turn, represented her store and herself beautifully.

We’ll be going back. For once I’m glad someone took the bounce out of our step!

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

Once a hunter met a lion near the hungry critter’s lair, and the way that lion mauled him was decidedly unfair; but the hunter never whimpered when the surgeons, with their thread, sewed up forty-seven gashes in his mutilated head; and he showed the scars in triumph, and they gave him pleasant fame, and he always blessed the lion that had camped upon his frame.

Once that hunter absent-minded, sat upon a hill of ants, and about a million bit him, and you should have seen him dance! And he used up lots of language of a deep magenta tint, and apostrophized the insects in a style unfit to print. And it’s thus with worldly troubles; when the big ones come along, we serenely go to meet them, feeling valiant, bold and strong, but the weary little worries with their poisoned stings and smarts, put the lid upon our courage, make us gray, and break our hearts. - Walt Mason

Isn’t it odd how we can sometimes freak right out over the small annoyances in life, then turn around and handle a crisis with grace befitting royalty.

I don’t know why it is, but it’s the ants in life that make us act like fools far more times than the lions do. We’ll face down the big lions in life - go toes to paws with them without a hair falling out of place. But then, ants will crawl into the picture and not a hair remains in place!

Can’t quite get my mind around it.

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

Below is a link to a really great article about a man, Edward Rondthaler, who’s still kicking high at the age of 100. He still writes a column for his local newspaper drives himself around walks a half mile every morning.

The article goes on to talk about how we’re living longer and living better.

100-year-old: Try cold showers for long life

So….

Make each moment count double, because there are going to be lots of them!

~Joi

“My Town” by Montgomery Gentry

Where I was born
Where I was raised,
Where I keep all
My yesterdays….

Everyone, I suppose has a special place in their heart for the place where their yesterday’s live.

My hometown is Madisonville, Kentucky. It’s a small, proud little town in the western part of the state. A large blue sign once welcomed visitors with, “Welcome to Madisonville, Kentucky - Best Town on Earth.” And to many of us it was, and is. Even to those of us who grew up and moved off, whether for college, work, marriage, or all three.

I’ve found that you can move away from your hometown - but you can never really move out of your hometown. A piece of you stays there and a piece of it stays with you.

A tornado tore through Madisonville a few days ago. People were hurt, homes were destroyed, possessions were lost…things that are supposed to only happen on tv happened down the street.

My mom was where she often is, volunteering at the local Salvation Army. She and the other volunteers saw the tornado headed toward them, then saw it veer in the other direction - sparing them.

My brother in law and his wife weren’t as lucky. They were in their yard when they saw it in the distance. They ran into their house and into a closet. Just as they pulled the door to, the roof of their home was blown right off. They lost their home, car, and many possessions. But, they walked away.

Each day I hear a new heartbreaking story. But every now and then a heartwarming story comes along. Like the police officer who threw himself on a woman just as the tornado hit, sustaining all the injuries himself. There’ve also been lots of great stories about the amazing volunteers (including my own husband), working tirelessly.

I guess the main purpose of this post is just to say that you never know when the unexpected will happen. So keep those who you love extra close.

Silly fights and broken relationships? Fix them while you still have a chance.

Haven’t talked to a loved one in a while? What’s wrong with today? Forgive, love, and move on.

Possessions? Ultimately they aren’t what really matters. People. That’s all that matters.

You just can’t be assured of next week, or tomorrow, or even of two hours from now. If disaster will strike “The Best Town on Earth,” it’ll strike anywhere.

Make. Each. Moment. Count
Love, Joi

P.S. If anyone happens to have a pic of that big blue sign they could e-mail me, they’d be my personal hero/heroine! I would absolutely love to have a pic, and can’t seem to come up with one anywhere. Thanks!

For a couple of years now, I’ve been reading everything I could get my hands on about tea. I’ve also been drinking every tea I could get my lips on. Both pursuits are serving me nicely!

Fortunately, the varieties of tea are nearly endless, so it’s never hard to find a new flavor to try out….though, admittedly, I keep returning to Chai, Green and White Pear. My favorite way to make tea at home is by the pot, using our coffee maker. I put the bags into the carafe, then allow the hot water to flow down over them - creating a whole pot. After it has set for a few minutes, I remove the bags. If it’s Green tea, I add sugar, honey and lemon. If it’s Chai, just a little sugar and sometimes a cinnamon stick. (White Pear also takes a bit of sugar, in my opinion; kind of aaaak without it!)

I’d love to get a special tea maker, because even after washing the carafe in the dishwasher, sometimes the Chai leaves a little flavor behind for the next pot of coffee. I don’t mind it, really, but my husband always detects it and makes a face like he just licked a highway. Not good, so I’m pricing tea makers!

In addition to just being darned good, there’s another reason to drink tea - for your Health. The healing properties of tea are so potent, it’s like having a supplement in a cup.

Both green and black teas have strong antioxidants, and appear to help prevent a variety of diseases and conditions, including heart disease, cancer, ulcers, inflammatory diseases, and even gum disease and cavities. Green tea has also been proven to aid weight loss. That alone is making it alot of friends!

Rooibos (red) tea is also high in antioxidants and may reduce the risk of cancer. Yerba maté, (an herbal tea from South America) is rich in polyphenols and has antioxidant properties comparable to green tea.

Chai tea, something I can’t go a day without, contains herbs and spices that are used traditionally to soothe gastric distress and warm the body. If you compliment your tea with a rolled-up stick of cinnamon bark while it’s steeping, you give yourself a bonus shot of healing properties. Cinnamon has antibacterial, anti-fungal and antiviral properties, which make it a perfect companion for bolstering immunity.

Herbal Brews

In addition to the teas above, there are a lot of herbal brewed teas that are also juiced up with healing properties.

A few miseries and the herbal teas that can alleviate them are:

• Colds, Flu and Allergies: Licorice root helps treat throat irritation; Elderberry relieves common discomforts associated with the flu; Hyssop heals congestion, coughs and hoarseness; Stinging Nettle is used for hay fever and other allergies.
• Coughs and Lung Disorders: Thyme is useful for bronchitis and lung congestion; Ginger acts as an expectorant to treat congestion and mucous buildup; and Fenugreek helps treat bronchitis, and clear coughs and congestion. (I once actually took Fenugreek as a tablet supplement and noticed a decrease in problems with my asthma.)
• Detoxification: Oregon grape root, Yellow Dock Root and Boldo each support liver function which aides the elimination of toxins.
• Lack of Energy: Ginseng, Ginger and Peppermint are awesome energizers. Peppermint tea is incredibly good - especially with butter cookies or pound cake.
• Headache: Rosemary is said to relieve headaches. Ginger and Peppermint teas are also said to be good for headaches. I can’t say that I’ve ever tried any for this ailment, I always run to my Tylenol bottle!
• Memory Loss: Rosemary is also believed to improve your memory.
• Indigestion: Peppermint and Fennel are said to improve and stimulate digestion, and a lot of people swear by Ginger for helping with motion sickness as well as morning sickness. I remember morning sickness all too well, however, and the thought of even smelling ginger would have been an invitation to the paper sack. The thing that always helped me, actually, was just regular tea - at room temp.
• Insomnia: Valerian, Hops, Passionflower and Skullcap are each believed to help promote sleep.
• PMS: Try Fennel Seed, Black Horehound, Cardamom and Caraway Seeds, Lemon Balm and Chamomile to help calm the beast known as PMS. I’m seeing alot of products on the market for different hormonal maladies that contain Black Horehound - there must be something to it.
• Stress: Chamomile, Lemon Balm and Catnip are said to have very calming effects. Catnip is even reported to be really close to being a sedative. There’s a bit of irony, given the fact that it jacks my cats up to other worlds.

Whew, that was a deadly amount of typing - I think that calls for a large mug of Chai tea!

Make each moment count double,
~Joi