October 2005

Things will look whacky and tacky for a few hours while we’re changing themes, so PLEASE forgive the ugliness. If my little blog elf and I work hard, everything should be purdy by the time afternoon rolls around.

Fingers crossed and brain waves jigging….

Below are the top five ways to break through stress:

1. Be

2. Really

3. Good

4. To

5. Yourself

Not just good. Really good. Here’s a list of 7 suggestions for doing just that. Do as many of them as you can as often as you can. (7 more will follow in the next post!)

1. Get more sleep. Even if you think you’re getting enough. Buy yourself a super-comfy pair of pajamas, place a lavender or vanilla scented sachet in your pillow case, make your room as dark and cozy as you can and hit the sack earlier than usual. After a week or so what you thought was stress (or even depression) may vanish and prove to have just been exhaustion in disguise.

2. Sleep in at least one day a week. Turn the alarm clock off, shut your door and don’t step one foot on the floor until you’re darned well ready.

3. Choose a day from the seven that’ll be your ’s little day - as in you’ll do ’s little as you possibly can. Leave the bed unmade, don’t cook, don’t get dressed and don’t even look at the vaccuum cleaner.

4. Get a massage. Stress affects your entire body, especially the neck, shoulders and back. Massage increases blood flow and causes the knots of tension to melt away.

5. Take a long bubble bath. Extra points if the bubble bath follows a massage.

6. Buy something you’ve been wanting for a while. Treat yourself to it and watch your spirits soar.

7. Get a little exercise each and every day. Whether you walk in the park or in the mall, or put music on and entertain your cat - doesn’t matter. Just move and groove…you’ll feel great!

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

Stress does far more than just make our life miserable, it affects our health in ways we may not even realize. It’s been proven to cause:

• High blood pressure
• Heart disease
• Stroke
• Ulcers
• Migraines
• Depression
• Insomnia

I recently thought about each and every person in my life who I knew to be dealing with some form of illness. One thing they all had in common was this: They had each had a fairly high level of stress in their life before and up to their illness. Whether it was a very high-pressure job, caring for sick and/or elderly relatives or moving frequently…..each and evey person who was battling an illness had first battled stress.

It makes you wonder if it doesn’t beat a person down to the point that they’re more susceptible to trouble.

Even if stress didn’t affect our health, it robs us of so much happiness and THAT alone is reason enough to go after it with all we’ve got. When you factor in the turmoil it leads to in our relationships, it’s a wonder that we don’t spend our every waking hour plotting its demise.

Stress isn’t too tough to identify. People have different levels of stress, so their symptoms will often vary. Generally, however, the following are frequent signs of trouble:

• Nervousness, anxiety
• Depression, moodiness
• Memory problems
• Lack of concentration
• Irritability, frustration
• Overreaction to things
• Skin Problems - breakouts, hives, itching, psoriasis, eczema
• Cold, clammy hands
• Frequent colds, flu, infections
• Sleep disturbances
• Back, shoulder or neck pain
• Tension or migraine headaches
• Upset or acid stomach, cramps, heartburn, gas, irritable bowel syndrome
  constipation, diarrhea
• Weight gain or loss, eating disorders
• Hair loss
• Muscle tension
• Fatigue
• High blood pressure
• Irregular heartbeat, palpitations
• Shortness of breath
• Chest Pain
• Trouble thinking clearly
• “Butterflies” and anxiousness

Stress, left undealt with, will manifest itself in the following ways:

• Road rage
• Frequent arguments and disagreements
• Frequent job changes
• Starting projects without finishing them
• Strife and conflict
• Frequent crying

Okay, we can all agree that none of that’s any good. Is it any wonder it affects our health so much?

Stress isn’t anything to be taken lightly, and it definitely isn’t anything that we have to live with. People often don’t realize just how much stress they had in their lives until it’s gone. You know how, after being sick with the flu for weeks, you almost feel like you’re on a high when you start feeling better? You forget how good it feels to feel good when you feel bad.

I’ve been researching stress for over a year now for TMFC. The next post will shed light on how to deal with stress and, ultimately, kick it out of your life.

Joi

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” - James Baldwin

I love that quote. It has a neat little split personality. It can be used for motivating personal change as well as for motivating world-wide change. Let’s deal with personal change, I don’t tackle changing the world on Friday’s - it’s my day off.

There are all types of people in the world, but IMO the most useless individuals are those who never change. The type who never allows a personal metamorphosis to take place. They’re caterpillars who’d rather creep along on their bellies with non-changing scenery rather than soar through life with ever-changing scenery.

WHY would a caterpillar choose to remain a caterpillar rather than progressing into a butterfly?

Would it be afraid of change? Not know where to begin? Could it not even realize that it needs to change? I guess there are lots of possibilities and even more excuses.

Personally, I believe most of us KNOW what we need to change. I also think we have a pretty good idea of where to START. I think we just get too comfortable. We get so encased in our normal routine that shaking out of it scares the bejesus out of us.

In reality, the thing that should scare far more than the bejesus out of us is this:

When we change, we broaded our world - we literally push our boundaries further back and make our horizons much wider. By contrast, with each passing day that we allow ourselves to remain in our comfortable quagmire of mediocrity, our world shrinks a little more.

Have you seen the commercial for shrinking food wrap, where the air is sucked out of the area surrounding the food and szwwwwoop, the only thing left is the food wearing it’s tight, plastic casing? If we stop growing and stop reinventing ourselves, we’ll be left with similar mobility.

Now that’s scary.

Make each movement count double,
~Joi

There are some things that one will see only in Kentucky. I’m thinking this speed limit sign might be one of them.

While in a coffee shop recently, I was looking through a wonderfully inspirational and motivational book. Before realizing what audience the book was actually written for, I had written down a handful of mind sparking quotes.

Little did I know I was eating from a plate that hadn’t been fixed for me.

After about the sixth quote I jotted down, I looked at the cover, then read the introduction. A person who has never drank anything stronger than the strongest coffee was devouring a book about recovery from alcoholism.

It was too late by then, I had fallen in like with the author. So I read some more and the like grew to love.

The book is “The Wrath of Grapes,” (the author cites the definition of hangover as “The Wrath of Grapes”). It was written by Sandi Bachom, an author I’d pilfer through garbage just to read a grocery list she’d penned.

She also wrote, “Denial is Not a River in Egypt.” Can the lady bang out titles or what??

Below are a few excerpts from her introduction to “Grapes…”:

“Although it has been 13 years since my last drink, I am no less a drunk. The passage of time does not diminish this fact. I’m a strange paradox, known only to alcoholics, the years actually fuel denial that whispers to us, ‘I wasn’t THAT bad.’ “

This phenomenon demands that I be reminded on a daily basis that I have this affliction and that is no laughing matter but that laughter can help to mend….

Every word in this book has been a part of my recovery and has brought me comfort when I have been paralyzed by fear and overwhelmed with loneliness….”

It’s a small paperback book and doesn’t cost nearly enough. You don’t have to be in recovery to find a goldmine in the pages. However, if you are in recovery (for any addiction), don’t take another step without the support of this book.

I don’t recommend alot of books or authors (even though I read voraciously) - this author and this book are perfect examples of why. When something spectacular comes along, I want people to know I mean business.

“There are no mistakes - only events from which we need to learn.”

“Find humor in a thing and you can survive it.”

“We are not punished FOR our sins, but BY our sins.”

-Quotes from “The Grapes of Wrath.”

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

Someone get NBA com commissioner David Stern a collection of Jerry Springer Uncensored tapes, stat. The dude apparently has too much time on his hands. Either that or he’s cracked up completely.

He has implemented a really lame dress code for the NBA’s players. Seems he thinks he needs to tell these grown men what they can and can’t wear. They have to wear shirts with collars and slacks. No jewelry, no jerseys, no t-shirts….

See the pic below of Mr. Iverson? Apparently Stern stands against everything Allen’s wearing. Me? I think Allen looks pretty darned cute. I also think he means more to the NBA than Mr. Blackwell-a-be.

In one of the weirdest quotes I’ve read out of the whole comedy came from Phil Jackson. He said that players have been wearing “prison garb.” What prison would that be???

Another Jackson, Pacers Stephen Jackson, believes the code is racist. “Almost 100 percent of the guys in the league who are young and black wear big chains. So I definitely don’t agree with that at all.” What DOES it hurt anyone for these kids to dress how they want to dress???

I don’t think Stern is racist, just painfully out of touch. Maybe someone should tell him that he doesn’t own these players - they’re free and of age and can darn well dress themselves. Maybe someone should point out that he and his generation don’t represent the norm for NBA fans and they sure as heck don’t represent the players. Perhaps someone should ask him what the casual dress hurts…

Nah, let’s just buy him the collection of tapes.

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

We’ve all been there and most of us will be there again. Times when we couldn’t buy a burger, let alone the whole meal.

When my husband and I were first married, he was in the Air Force, so there were alot of times when the church mice felt sorry for us. By the time our second daughter was born, the mice began taking up collections for us!

Fortunately, there are all sorts of things you can do to have a great time even if you’re flat broke. Keeping it PG, here are seven of my favorites:

1. Pack some sandwiches and head to the park. Take along some popcorn for the ducks and crumbs for the squirrels. Eat, walk, play frisbee, play on the swings, and slide from the tallest slide you can find.

2. Go to the mall and people-watch. Priceless entertainment!

3. Grab someone and play a game of tennis. Not only is it unbelievably fun, the exercise is nearly unbeatable.

4. Turn on an old movie, even if it’s one you’ve never heard of. The step back in history is a great escape.

5. Get creative in the kitchen. Using only the foods you have on hand and flying without a net (meaning no recipe), see what you can come up with.

6. Go to the library and get lost in the books for awhile. Read a really scary one, it’s the perfect time of year for that. Dracula is a perfect pick - unless you’re like me and wouldn’t be able to sleep for weeks. I literally couldn’t sleeep the nights I saw “Silence of the Lambs” or “Sixth Sense.” Fact is, if I thought about it very much I’d pull an all-nighter tonight! I am shicken chit, but I’ve come to terms with it.

7. Read everything David Feherty has ever written. Click on his name in the previous sentence for one of his online hangouts, and on the following link for another: David Feherty at Golf Online.com. You don’t have to play golf, watch golf, or even like golf to enjoy the heck out of his writings.

“…the only exercise I get is jumping to the occasional conclussion or violently swerving past the salad bar on my way to the dessert trolley.” - David Feherty

In short, have a good time and don’t think about money. The memories you make will last longer and will be worth alot more than anything you could buy.

Make each priceless moment count double,
~Joi

Two of my daughters and I went to see a movie yesterday - “The Fog” - awesome movie…. perfect for setting the mood for Halloween.

About ten minutes into it, after I’d already had two jump-in-my-seat moments, an unusual thought entered my mind. Watching a movie is kind of like life. Before you think the fog entered my brain, let me explain.

When you pay to see a movie, not to mention the popcorn, Coke, and Raisinettes that you HAVE to have, you want to enjoy every single minute of it. There’s no rewind button, so there’s no going back. You’ve got one shot to make the most of it.

Sure, there’ll be people who don’t act the way you want them to. Like the nuts who talk out loud to the people on the screen. Um, they can’t hear you, dude. Or the wanderers who get up and roam…or the cell phone whores….or the man with the biggest head on the planet who sits right in front of you.

You have to keep your eye on the reason you’re there in the first place - to enjoy the movie. We can’t worry about every move of everyone else, if we do we might just miss something much more important. And as we already know, there’s no rewind….no going back….so if we miss it - it’s gone.

Some parts of the movie will be better than others. Some will make you cry, some will make you laugh, some will scare the bejesus out of you. But they’ll all make you feel alive.

Finally, when watching a movie, we shouldn’t get caught up worrying about what’s going to happen next. It’s far better to just enjoy each moment as it happens rather than looking right past it to the next. And whatever we do, we should never worry about how it’s going to end. Why dismiss the entire film by thinking of the last frame?

We should stay focused on each scene and never miss a moment or take one for granted. That’s true of movies, too.

Make each scene count double,
~Joi
TMFC

One of my favorite earthly angels sent me the following this morning. It’s sweet and resonates truth, so I thought I’d share….

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.

They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: “I don’t believe that God exists.”

“Why do you say that?” asked the customer.

“Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn’t exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can’t imagine a loving a God who would allow all of these things.”

The customer thought for a moment, but didn’t respond because he didn’t want to start an argument.

The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man
in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: “You know what? Barbers do not exist.”

How can you say that?” asked the surprised barber. “I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!”

“No!” the customer exclaimed. “Barbers don’t exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside.”

“Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me.”

“Exactly!”- affirmed the customer. “That ’s the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don’t go to Him and do not look for Him. That’s why there’s so much pain and suffering in the world.”

Thanks, Steph!