September 2005

“All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts.”

I just read the eBook for the first time and I’m ready to go take on the world! But, alas, it’s 12:38 AM and I’m in my gown. So the world will have to wait. If I’m going to attempt world domination, I want to at least be dressed for it.

Make every moment count double,
~Joi

Today kinda rocked. It was full of pizza, Dr. Peppper, Pecan Chewy Cookies and hanging out at the mall with the three coolest kids in the world. (Can I help it if they happen to be my own?) We hit the perfume counters first, then took our sweet-smelling selves everywhere else.

We did a lot of people watching today, as always. If you’re lucky, and the right people are out and about - it can be funnier than Ellen DeGeneres. My favorite ones to watch are the kids and young adults between 13 and 22. So much vitality and, well, funkiness. A world void of this age group would be dull and far too quiet. There’d be less color and not nearly enough drama. It’d be a world I sure wouldn’t want to live in, or even visit.

Something that infuriates me is when older people look at this younger group with so much judgement in their eyes and talk about them with so much criticism in their voice.

Just today I saw two women on the wrinkle cream side of 50 sitting on a bench, looking down their noses at each young girl that passed by. Thankfully, the kids were so into one another they never even noticed that they were being judged beneath the magnifying glass. Either that, or it’s something they’re used to.

Yes, the boys sometimes wear their pants with more slack than a blue-haired substitute teacher, and some of the girls yeild a near dangerous make-up brush. So freakin’ what? Who are they hurting? They’re finding themselves and discovering life - just like the rest of us did. They’ll grow up soon enough. Tomorrow will provide them with all the lessons it gave us - for crying out loud, that’s reason enough to feel nothing but compassion!

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

I’ve been reading everything I can get my eyes on about blogging. I think everyone is pretty much in agreement of the basic guidelines for Successful Blogging:

• Be well read. Be up-to-date on what’s going on around you. The vangage point from a hole in the ground? ‘taint great.
• Be well-rounded. Have lots of interests, hobbies, and passions. It makes you more interesting and you can relate to more people.
• Be enthusiastic. If you’re bored with life, life’ll be bored with you, along with everyone else!
• Let your personality shine through. Don’t be afraid to use your own slanguage or abbreviations. (Personally, I’m not above making words up if the need arises.)
• Say what’s on your mind - but not just for the shock value. Jerks no longer shock anyone, they merely annoy. However, if you have something to say, come out with it. Don’t beat around the danged proverbial bush.
• If you make a mistake, own up to it. Don’t grovel for crying out loud, but do apologize and move on.
• Be respectful of others. Treat others as you’d want your loved ones to be treated.
• Allow others to have their own opinions. Don’t fall into the school yard bully mode of thinking that there are two opinions in the world - Your opinions and Wrong opinions. Make up, and express, your own mind and allow others the freedom. (As long as the opinions expressed aren’t hurtful or disrespectful.)
• Be helpful and charitable at every opportunity. When you don’t see the opportunity to do so, create one.

What really amazes me is that the same guidelines for Successful Blogging make a pretty good outline for Successful Living. Throw in exercise and eat right and you’d be off to a really good start!

Make each moment count double,
~Joi
TMFC

Clear your mind out for a minute. Don’t think about the Packer’s problems, tomorrow at the office, or tonight’s meatloaf. Don’t even think about the new Burger King commercial.

Empty out all your worries, cares and doubts right out onto the floor. If, for some reason you want them back, they’ll be there waiting for you in a minute or two. For now, though, I only want you to think of the answer to the following question:

Where do you want to be one year from today?

If your answer is “Sitting right where I am, doing exactly what I’m doing, with all the knowledge I’ve currently cornered and owning no more than I currently own.”, you’re stuff is so together you should be writing your own blog. I’d read it, pop it under favorites, and subscribe to your feed on both of our computers.

If, however, you’re like me and have quite a nifty little “wish list”, make this the day you start taking mammoth steps toward your goal(s).

Do you remember the game “Mother May I”? You’d be instructed to take little baby steps, kangaroo leaps, giant steps, or bunny hops. You had to gain permission by asking, “Mother may I?”. First one to make it to the the mother (so to speak) was the winner. Baby steps got you nowhere fast, but giant steps got you there in a hurry….then you got to be the mother. Sweet!

You know what I’m guilty of? Too many danged baby steps. I know where I’m headed, or where I want to be headed at least. But most of the time I take baby steps to get there. If I had been taking giant steps all along, maybe “there” would be in my rearview mirror.

This would be me setting my mind on taking giant steps from here on out.

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

P.S. What IS wrong with the Packers anyway?

What’s the one thing that’s keeping you from your biggest goal(s) in life? The thing that stands like a brick wall between you and your goals? If you’re like most people, your answer resembled one of the following:

• “I don’t have enough confidence.”
• “I’m not determined enough.”
• “I’m not smart enough.”
• “I have a phobia of public speaking.”
• “I’m too laid back.”
• “I’ve got a rotten temper.”
• “Not enough money.”

None of this, insufficient that, a lacking of the other….

We get so weighed down by what we don’t have that we don’t realize, publicize, and capitalize on what we do have. Continue

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

“One comes to believe whatever one repeats to oneself sufficiently often, whether the statement be true of false. It comes to be dominating thought in one’s mind.” - Robert Collier

Henry Toreau on the art of living:

“It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look. To affect the quality of the day - that is the highest of arts.”

Mother Teresa, St. Francis of Assisi, Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Jr., Eleanor Roosevelt, Harriet Tubman - they each affected the “quality of the day” for millions of people. They didn’t expect rewards or commendations, and most had no idea the impact they would make or the legacy they would leave behind. They simply wanted to make the world a better place for others to live in.

We all have the potential inside of us to be amongst the greatest artists in the world. Those who practice the highest of the arts - the art of life itself.

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

For better or worse, the first impression you make on someone has a lasting effect. The first meeting is when a person selects the paint they’ll use to paint their overall impression of you.

It doesn’t matter if you’re meeting a potential business client, future inlaws, a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend, or your daughter’s soccer coach, you want to make a good first impression.

Here are a few suggestions I’ve rounded up:

1. Okay, lean in really close to the screen and “listen” closely: DO NOT make love to your ego in front of someone on the first meeting. O-Kay, NEVER do that, but especially not right off the bat.

“Yeah, nice to meet you. Your red top reminds me of my red Ferrari F430. It set me back $198,667. But it looks so sweet sitting in front of my million dollar house.”

Un-freakin’-cool.

2. Make eye contact. Show that you’re interested in them. Don’t look around the room, down at your shoes, up at the ceiling (nothing’s up there, man)…

3. If you’re in a rotten mood, fake a good one. A bad mood will only bring the other person down. Something they aren’t likely to forgive you for.

4. Remember to speak slowly. Nervousness causes us to speak too fast. Breath your way through the nerves with deep breaths. After the initial “ice breaking”, the nervousness will fade away.

5. Use flattery sparingly. By all means, be generous and kind, but you’ll turn people off by pouring it on too strongly.

6. Adjust your posture, tone of voice, words and gestures to the other person.

Above all, be yourself. Just be your best self!

Now go rock their world.

Make each impression count double,
~Joi

For the love of avoiding asylums, make sure you’re alone first, but I have a kinda cool self-awareness exercise for you.

The next chance you get, sit down and have a heart to heart with yourself. Okay, you don’t really even have to sit down, but you do have to talk, listen and respond. This would be why I said to make sure you’re alone - you read my blog which means I wuv you, and don’t want you looking like a fool to anyone.

But think about it, what better way to approach self-awareness than by getting inside of the head that’s most important - your own. You’ll never find out what you need, personally, to make you happier, more successful, more content, or healthier by listening only to what others say. Motivation, inspiration, support and knowledge can be gotten from the right people, but self-awareness will flow only from one fountain. Yours.

When you sit down with yourself, talk about anything (Or anyone. Who’ll tell?) that you need to. And, btw, - you don’t have to ask yourself any questions aloud, I was just being cute. All my self talks occur within my busy little mind. I don’t mind the clutter. The most important thing is to take your exercise seriously and to lead off with the following question:

“How do you feel right now?” Give a name to each of the feelings you currently own. You may surprise yourself. A few days ago, I was running around inside of my own head trying to catch an exclusive. I found out that what I thought was building into stress was really just tiredness. I took a nap and was my “normal” self afterwards.

We’re awfully quick to alter our ranks - we give major words to minor conditions. One of the most overworked Majors is “Depression”. So many people use this word when they feel the least bit down, or even tired. Then, they convince themselves that they’re depressed, and they label themselves as such. Maybe all they really needed was a nap, too.

After you list the words to describe how you feel, take each one and address it. If you say, for example that you feel “Unappreciated”, ask yourself what would make you feel appreciated. If you say you feel “overwhelmed”, ask what would lighten your load.

Basically, confront each scenario with, “What are you doing about it.”

It pays to remember what Self Help, Self Awareness, Self Improvement, and Self Knowledge have in common: They all start with self.

Make each moment count double,
~Joi

Taken from a Jerry Seinfeld monologue….

“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two! Now, this means, to the average person, if you have to go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy!”

I guess when people say, “I’d rather die than give this speech.” they’re only half-kidding.

Make each moment count double,
~Joi