June 2005

You’ve got to stand for something,
Or you’ll fall for anything.
~ Aaron Tippin

Don’t you just hate it when people tell you that they’re going to do something and then never do it. I hate it worse today more than yesterday and I’ll hate it more tomorrow than I do today.

It seems to be more prevalent among those that do what they do on the internet versus the off-line world.

In the ” real ” world, they go out of business when they don’t come thru. On the internet, where they only have to pay for their hosting fees, they can operate forever for $8.95 per month.

They can live with their momma’s, they can claim to be big time operators and they can promise you all kinds of stuff….

BUT all they ever do is talk the talk and they never walk the walk.

You’ve done the hard part,
you’ve talked about it.
~ Billy Knapp

Like my friend says, you can talk all day about what you’re gonna do, BUT if you never do any of it, you are squat !

If it ain’t done,
it ain’t jack.
~ Marlon Sanders

Bloggers it seems, are even worse than the average denizens of the internet.

Two or three, of late, have said that they were going to do something for me.

None have done squat.

It really doesn’t matter to me, either way, but if you say you’re gonna do it, do it.

I won’t love you any less if you offer or not.

If you have no intentions of doing it, don’t waste my thought process believing that you might come thru.

Whatever you do today,
you have to sleep with tonite.
~ Aaron Tippin

Or for today, whatever you don’t do.

Life’s short…follow thru.

~ Mike

PS - We use a lot of quotes here, if you’d like a copy of the resource we use to find ‘em, go to The Mental Sparkplug.

If you can’t afford it, lemme know, I’m a generous kinda guy.

I just read this and wanted to share it with you.

There’s enough trash and crap to deal with every day, so I wanted to get in a few good vibes before the work week starts up again.

On a very hot, very humid day, a small classroom full of girls in a little settlement town asked their teacher to teach them to be happy.

Mrs. Palmer told them that she’d give them 3 rules and that they had to promise to follow them every day for a week.

” First, commit something good to memory every day. Three or four words will do, be it a bit of a poem, part of a song or a Bible verse. ”

” Do you understand “, she asked ? One girl spoke up, ” I know, you want us to learn something we’d be glad to remember if we went blind. ” ( Out of the mouths of babes… )

Mrs. Palmer was relieved. They understand.

She finished the three rules with, second, see something beautiful each day and third, do something helpful every day.

At the end of the week, when it was time for them to report back, she hoped she had not lost a single one of them.

Not one single failure was reported.

The closest call came for one little girl who, was kept inside for 24 straight hours because of a pouring rain. Finally, she was able to keep her vow by finding a sparrow taking a bath in a puddle and a gleam of sunlight on a baby’s hair.

If you and I, who have a heck of a lot easier time in life than those who came before us and lived on the prairies and in the wild west, can’t keep these same vows…well, we need to slow down and re-do our priorities. But THAT is another post on another day.

~Mike
Simplenomics

“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.” - Unknown

The last time we were in our local Books A Million, I roamed around with my Coconut Cream Frappe (Okay, like to die for, man!). I entertained myself with looking at just how many self-help/do-it-this-way type books there were on the shelves. They’ll tell you how to live better, how to lose weight, how to love, how to be loved, how to save money (didn’t touch that one), how to make more money, how to spend the money (didn’t need that one), how to decorate everything under the sun, how to buy a dog, how to train the dog, how to name the dog, how to dress the dog, how to know if the dog has emotional or stress-related trouble, and on and on.

I can’t speak on behalf of Spot’s issues, but a lot of the things we’re dealing with on a daily basis come down to one thing: CONFIDENCE.

“If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” - Thomas A Edison

We all begin life with plenty of confidence. When a First grader shows up for the first day of school, he isn’t afraid of saying something stupid or of not being dressed “good enough”. He doesn’t enter the room wondering if the other kids will accept him or not. He’s there and he fully intends to have a good time!

By the time the first day of High School shows up, the same boy has insecurities about how he looks, his clothes, what’ll be said, and so on. He’s still the same kid, but life has changed him.

Being teased by others, failing tests, being laughed at, getting fired, losing games, being called names, illnesses, disappointments, getting insulted - all of these facts of life chisel away at a person’s confidence and leave them with doubt and insecurities. There is very little that we can do about what life GIVES us, but what we give it back is completely within our control. We have to start believing in ourselves again!

“Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.” - Bruce Barton

How? Stop fixating on the things that have gone wrong. They’re done, they’re in the past - stop going back for them. If you’ve had a failure in your life that you’re having trouble getting past, ask yourself if you learned anything from it. Did you answer “Yes”? If you did, then it wasn’t a failure it was a lesson. In High School you weren’t given Grammar failures, you were given Grammar lessons. Lessons are good; if it weren’t for them - WE WOULD NEVER GET ANY SMARTER THAN THE DAY WE WERE BORN.

Start dwelling on your assetts. Literally remind yourself of your accomplishments, great traits and good qualities. Tell yourself how the only thing that could ever hold you back would be you. Do this out loud, but please not when others are around. They’d think you were off your nut.

Two articles were recently added to The Mental Fitness Center that sort of go along with this line of thinking:

What’s Holding You Back?

Put Your Sexy On

I know I sound like a CD on repeat, but learn something new. It shows you just how much you have on the ball and you might just start loving yourself some self!

“Life marks us all down, so it’s just as well that we start out by overpricing ourselves.” - Mignon McLaughlin

(By the way, why does the phrase, “sound like a broken record” exist? I started to type that out, but then my brain couldn’t get around a broken record making any sound, let alone a repetitive one. I’ll need to think about this one further. Further thought calls for a Coconut Frappe )

Make each moment count double,
~Joi
TMFC

I am a huge boxing fan.

I especially love and over the years have read about the old time prize fighters.

Bob Fitzsimmons was one of those. He was not a large man by any stretch of the imagination and was generally smaller than his opponents.

He was described as ungainly in his build and his movements ( I can relate ).

Bob was often knocked down or knocked around in the early rounds of his fights.

I can relate to this, too.

Many people consider him to be one of the best pound-for-pound fighters of all time.

He was not a favorite of the masses, at first, but grew to be one by winning. Who’d have thought THAT would work ?

He had great natural power and from any angle he could and did knock his opponents silly. He was said to be able “to deliver a wicked blow that no human being could withstand. “

But, more formidable still, was the spirit which gave him complete command of all his resources. This and his great natural power made him the most dangerous when he was on the verge of being knocked out.

I had just came into our ” war-room” and found a book of poems that Joi had laying on the desk. When I picked it up, it opened to this poem…….

When the battle breaks against you and the crowd forgets to cheer,
When the Anvil Chorus echoes with the essence of a jeer;
When the knockers start their panning in the knocker’s nimble way,
With a rap for all your errors and a josh upon your play.
There is one quick answer ready that will nail them on the wing;
There is one reply forthcoming that will wipe away the sting;
There is one elastic come-back that will hold them, as it should,
Make good.

No matter where you finish in the mix-up or the row,
There are those among the rabble who will pan you anyhow;
But the entry who is sticking and delivering the stuff,
Can listen to the yapping as he giggles up his cuff;
The loafer has no come-back and the quitter no reply,
When the Anvil Chorus echoes, as it will, against the sky;
But there’s one quick answer ready that will wrap them in a hood,
Make good.

Thank you, Grantland Rice.

I intended this to be for my friend, Paul at
Self Help Daily, but I believe it came out meaning more to me.
I can only hope it helps him.

Life’s short…blog hard !

~Mike

EDIT - Coincidentally, Ryan Latham wrote about success today on his blog. You can read the post at Define Blog

“If it is to be, it is up to me.” - William Johnson

I could talk at length (but you know that!) about opportunities. How they are all around us, how if you don’t grab the one in front of you someone else will, how we settle too often for too little, blah blah blah.

But instead of pitching a handful of pennies into the fountain, I’m going to pull out the big bucks. I’m going to hit you up poet style.

Okay, one penny. Don’t wait for the opportunity to knock on your door. Go out and MAKE your own opportunities. Lots of them.

You don’t get far in this world with passive verbs on your breath…you have to have active verbs between your teeth.

Now for that poem - I love this one. Read it, re-read it, write it down, take it in and live it out:

OPPORTUNITY

With doubt and dismay you are smitten
You think there’s no chance for you, son?
Why, the best books haven’t been written
The best race hasn’t been run,
The best score hasn’t been made yet,
The best song hasn’t been sung,
The best tune hasn’t been played yet,
Cheer up, for the world is young!

No chance? Why the world is just eager
For things that you ought to create
Its store of true wealth is still meagre
Its needs are incessant and great,
It yearns for more power and beauty
More laughter and love and romance,
More loyalty, labor and duty,
No chance - why there’s nothing but chance!

For the best verse hasn’t been rhymed yet,
The best house hasn’t been planned,
The highest peak hasn’t been climbed yet,
The mightiest rivers aren’t spanned,
Don’t worry and fret, faint hearted,
The chances have just begun,
For the Best jobs haven’t been started,
The Best work hasn’t been done.

-Berton Braley

Great stuff!

Make each opportunity count double,
~Joi
Buttermilk Press

“All of the top achievers I know are life-long learners… Looking for new skills, insights, and ideas. If they’re not learning, they’re not growing… not moving toward excellence.” - Denis Waitley

What would you say if you had a 16 year old son who told you he wanted to drop out of school? After you picked yourself up off of the floor (or him, depending upon how well you took the news), you’d give him a speech laced with the keywords lazy, uneducated, couch potato, moron, disappointment, mistake etc. Most definitely you’d screech out, “What are you think-ing?” - probably about once every 5 minutes.

You’d tell him how he needs to educate himself and learn all that he possibly can, how the mind needs stimulation and challenges or it gets soft. You’d surely use an athlete’s muscles as a point of emphasis - telling him how they have to work their muscles to keep them stronger. If the workouts stop, the strength would go away, leaving them with fat instead of muscle…then you’d say something about a fat brain, wonder why you had to word it that way, then end off with an even higher pitched, “What are you think-ing???!”

“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.

All the righteous indignation and amazement we’d feel toward such a kid would serve us well when we analyze our own lives. As adults, we should never stop learning any more than a 16 year old should. When we learn and challenge ourselves, we grow. If we stop challenging ourselves mentally, we stop growing. We become couch vegetables who could talk at length about the recent episode of Lost but would LOOK lost if asked to define “archipelago”. What knowledge we had two months ago is basically the same knowledge we have today.

“What are we think-ing???!”

I think it’s beyond wise to challenge ourselves and push ourselves mentally. What’s the worst that could happen? We’ll get too smart? We’ll know too much? I’m willing to risk it, how about you?

Below is a list of topics to get your juices flowing. Each week, pick a different one and explore the heck out of it. Read all you can get your hands on about that subject, you aren’t looking for any angles, you’re not looking to monetize the information - you’re just looking for one thing: To know more tomorrow than you do today. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Here are some suggestions, I know you can come up with more:

GEOGRAPHICAL TERMS - especially if archipelago (a group of islands) threw you. Give yourself a break if it did - it’s a word one doesn’t come across everyday unless they read a lot about geography or play Trivial Pursuit.

RSS (I’m currently being held hostage in this underworld.)

HTML/WEB DESIGN

CHINESE CHARACTERS

MALCOLM X

DREAMOLOGY

MUSIC - If you are interested in learning to read music, e-mail me at joi@thementalfitnesscenter.com. I have a pretty cute little pdf I can send you. It’s been sitting in the files forever, waiting for me to do something with it. If you can put a copy to use, I’ll send it to you, free of course.

POKER (I actually think I’d like to learn to play poker, if I ever break out of RSS hell.)

There are a few, if I think of more I’ll add them. Also, don’t overlook the obvious suggestions like reading more, learning a new word everyday, refreshing your math skills (ouch, I gored myself with that one)…

Just remember, next time you find yourself vegging on the sofa, at least veg with a book in hand.

Have a grandiose day and go learn something!

Make each lesson count double,
~Joi
Hightide-Web

“A tablecloth that’s slightly soiled
Where greasy little hands have toiled;
The napkins kept in silver rings,
And only ordinary things
From which to eat, a simple fare,
And just the wife and kiddies there,
And while I serve, the clatter glad
Of little girl and little lad
Who have so very much to say
About the happenings of the day.

Four big round eyes that dance with glee,
Forever flashing joys at me,
Two little tongues that race and run
To tell of troubles and of fun;
The mother with a patient smile
Who knows that she must wait awhile
Before she’ll get a chance to say
What she’s discovered through the day.
She steps aside for girl and lad
Who have so much to tell their dad.

Our manners may not be the best;
Perhaps our elbows often rest
Upon the table, and at times
That very worst of dinner crimes,
That very shameful act and rude
Of speaking ere you’ve downed your food,
Too frequently, I fear, is done,
So fast the little voices run.
Yet why should table manners stay
Those tongues that have so much to say?

At many a table I have been
Where wealth and luxury were seen,
And I have dined in halls of pride
Where all the guests were dignified;
But when it comes to pleasure rare
The perfect dinner table’s where
No stranger’s face is ever known:
The dinner hour we spend alone,
When little girl and little lad
Run riot telling things to dad.”

- Edgar A. Guest

“There’s little joy in life for me,
And little terror in the grave ;
I ‘ve lived the parting hour to see
Of one I would have died to save.

Calmly to watch the failing breath,
Wishing each sigh might be the last ;
Longing to see the shade of death
O’er those belovèd features cast.

The cloud, the stillness that must part
The darling of my life from me ;
And then to thank God from my heart,
To thank Him well and fervently ;

Although I knew that we had lost
The hope and glory of our life ;
And now, benighted, tempest-tossed,
Must bear alone the weary strife.”

- Charlotte Bronte

“Anxiety is fear of one’s self.” - Wilhelm Stekel

There are a handful of things that I’m absolutely convinced that I do better than anyone. I border on cocky when it comes to:

#1. My cooking. I’m that good.

#2. My gladiolas.

#3. My quote collection.

I’m what has to be the world’s biggest collector and lover of quotes. Can’t be anyone who rivals me. I have notebooks full of quotes and shelves full of notebooks. I’ve pilfered them from biographies, movies, newspapers, Andy Griffith, every word ever spoken by Ronald Reagan, etc…

They always make me think. Thinking’s a good thing. As a rule.

I came across the one at the top of this post a few days ago. It really made me think. (See?) “Anxiety is fear of one’s self.”

What if Wilhelm Stekel was right? What if each one of the fears and anxieties of each of us can be traced directly to…..us?

What if we’re giving spiders, heights, darkness, public speaking, and even the worst evil of all - the vile, fork-tongued princes of darkness - too much credit.

If we buy into all of this (and I think we should at least lease it), there’s good news and bad news. The bad news is that we’re basically putting on a scary mask, looking into the mirror, and flat out scaring the bejesus out of ourselves.

The good news is that since we are the ones in control, that makes us more powerful than, literally, our worst nightmare.

“The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear.” - William Jennings Brown

I think the thing at the base of every fear is a doubt in ourself being able to handle the situation. When I think of my worst fear - the fork-tongued harbingers of ugliness that I spoke of before (can’t say the word. Jinx and all that) - it’s ultimately a fear of how I would react. I wouldn’t know what to do if one of them approached me with evil intentions. I’d freak some big fear and the thing would slowly eat all 5′3″ of me. The husband says they don’t eat people but he doesn’t know them like I do.

What if, armed with this information, we intentionally exposed ourselves to our fears to prove that we can handle ourselves and, thereby, our fears?

WE’D GET STRONGER AS OUR FEARS GOT WEAKER.

“Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength.” - Charles H. Spurgeon

Afraid of speaking in public? Sign up for a public speaking class at the local college. Afraid of mice? Make supervised visits with a nice one. Whatever it is that overwhelms you - overwhelm it.

Unless it’s you-know-what’s. No need being a damned fool.

Make each moment count double,
~Joi
TMFC

“What is she writing? Watch her now,
How fast her fingers move !
How eagerly her youthful brow
Is bent in thought above !
Her long curls, drooping, shade the light,
She puts them quick aside,
Nor knows, that band of crystals bright,
Her hasty touch untied.
It slips adown her silken dress,
Falls glittering at her feet;
Unmarked it falls, for she no less
Pursues her labour sweet.

The very loveliest hour that shines,
Is in that deep blue sky;
The golden sun of June declines,
It has not caught her eye.
The cheerful lawn, and unclosed gate,
The white road, far away,
In vain for her light footsteps wait,
She comes not forth to-day.
There is an open door of glass
Close by that lady’s chair,
From thence, to slopes of mossy grass,
Descends a marble stair.

Tall plants of bright and spicy bloom
Around the threshold grow;
Their leaves and blossoms shade the room,
From that sun’s deepening glow.
Why does she not a moment glance
Between the clustering flowers,
And mark in heaven the radiant dance
Of evening’s rosy hours ?
O look again ! Still fixed her eye,
Unsmiling, earnest, still,
And fast her pen and fingers fly,
Urged by her eager will.

Her soul is in th’ absorbing task;
To whom, then, doth she write ?
Nay, watch her still more closely, ask
Her own eyes’ serious light;
Where do they turn, as now her pen
Hangs o’er th’ unfinished line ?
Whence fell the tearful gleam that then
Did in their dark spheres shine ?
The summer-parlour looks so dark,
When from that sky you turn,
And from th’ expanse of that green park,
You scarce may aught discern.

Yet o’er the piles of porcelain rare,
O’er flower-stand, couch, and vase,
Sloped, as if leaning on the air,
One picture meets the gaze.
‘Tis there she turns; you may not see
Distinct, what form defines
The clouded mass of mystery
Yon broad gold frame confines.
But look again; inured to shade
Your eyes now faintly trace
A stalwart form, a massive head,
A firm, determined face.

Black Spanish locks, a sunburnt cheek,
A brow high, broad, and white,
Where every furrow seems to speak
Of mind and moral might.
Is that her god ? I cannot tell;
Her eye a moment met
Th’ impending picture, then it fell
Darkened and dimmed and wet.
A moment more, her task is done,
And sealed the letter lies;
And now, towards the setting sun
She turns her tearful eyes.

Those tears flow over, wonder not,
For by the inscription, see
In what a strange and distant spot
Her heart of hearts must be !
Three seas and many a league of land
That letter must pass o’er,
E’er read by him to whose loved hand
‘Tis sent from England’s shore.
Remote colonial wilds detain
Her husband, loved though stern;
She, ‘mid that smiling English scene,
Weeps for his wished return.”

- Charlotte Bronte